Secrets of the Salon
by InkyTheHalfling
Summary: Owning the only hairsalon in the town had it's benefits, and Harmony knew more about the town than even the Mayor. I really suck at reviews; just read it, ok? The story is better than anything you'd read in this blurb...
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own OUaT. If I did, Regina would have stayed on her path to goodness, Cora's heart would be in her chest and she'd love Regina. Emma and Regina would share Henry, Tamera would be a good person and she would runoff into the sunset with Nealfire as Emma and Hook sat on the desk of his ship discussing the adventures they wanted to go on. Snow and Charming would happily jump off the plot together and Jefferson would show up. But I don't own OUaT. So **__**there**__**. **_

**A/N: This just came to me one night while I was enjoying my boring life. ****R&R s'il vous plaît****. Et les petit pois sont rouges. **

It was a stereotype that hairdressers were nosy gossips who chatted up their clients to get personal information from them and have something to tell the next on.

Harmony Cheveux was ok with that. She owned the only hair salon in Storybrooke and she knew the secrets of the town better than anyone. After spending years alone, she became an observer of others, and with the salon she had learned how to prompt people just right.

On this particular morning, Harmony had her think, floor length hair braided back and draped over her shoulders like a scarf. She had several appointments and could not be slowed by her hair today. Harmony had just finished preparing a chair when the former Madame Mayor walked in. Harmony was one of the few people who even listened to Regina these days, and so she would not miss an appointment.

"Hello Regina. Sit; I'll be with you in a moment," Harmony turned on the small old fashioned radio in the corner, not missing the weariness in the set of Regina's shoulders. No matter the joy she showed at Snow's suffering, she still felt the loss of her mother. Of what could be.

"Argan oil treatment today right?" Harmony confirmed. Regina nodded.

"Ok. Tell Harmony what's wrong…"

Snow decided that Emma might as well come with her to the salon. It wasn't like she was scared of seeing Regina in town again. Nope.

"But I don't need a trim!" Emma complained. Sometimes, it felt like Emma was a kid and Snow hadn't missed her childhood. She sure complained like one.

"This is called bonding time. Just us girls, relaxing and doing something normal, something other than fighting evil or running for our lives," Snow gave one of her patient smiles, and Emma gave her one of her knowing ones. "You just don't want to be in town alone."

Snow frowned. "Maybe we can get Harmony to dye your hair brown."

"I do not need a dye job, or a trim, or anything. You, however, need to face your shame," Emma crossed her arms.

"Funny. Thought I was your mother…" Snow mused as she pulled open the door of the salon and walked in. She stopped short as Emma retorted behind her and she saw who had already arrived in the salon.

"…I just miss—" Regina's voice died at the sight of Snow, and her face stretched into a smug grin. "Why hello."

"Sorry Mary Margret, Emma," said Harmony, washing her hands. "Running a little behind; have a seat and I'll be with you soon. Would you like something to drink? I have lemonade in the back; made it this morning."

"No thank you," Emma said, wondering why the salon looked half like a salon and half like a living room, with couches for her and Snow to sit on. And why Harmony had made lemonade.

"You should try it, Mary Margret," Regina said grinning, "It's so pure and delicious; it might cleanse even your soul."

"It hasn't done you any good," Emma replied in Snow's defense, as Snow stared at her shoes, ashamed of the hidden mark on her soul.

"Well that's it," Harmony told Regina after giving her hair a once over. "You have such lovely hair. See you next week?"

"As usual," Regina said, paying and leaving with a shark smirk as Snow.

"Ok, who's first?" Harmony asked, gesturing to the next chair over.

"Emma, since this is her first time," Snow piped up before Emma could get a word in. Emma gave Snow a glare before sitting in the chair. Harmony took out a pair of scissors that looked like sheep shears. She gave them a loud _snip snip_ in front of Emma.

"WHAT THE—" Emma jumped up, and the other two women burst into laughter.

"It's a joke she plays on everyone their first time," Snow explained when she could breathe again. Emma sat down cautiously. Harmony turned the chair again to face the mirror. "Ok, Emma; what have we got here?"

Harmony inspected with and air of professionalism. "Goodness. What have you been doing to your hair? The ends are horribly split!"

"I really don't do much to it," Emma said.

"What do you do?"

"Wash it."

Harmony gave her a withering look. "A good chop would do you a world of wonders."

"What do you mean a chop?"

Harmony made a scissor motion with her fingers right above Emma's shoulder. "That would be a healthy starting point."

"No."

"But—"

"No."

"Fine," Harmony took out a small pair of scissors. "Trim then." She began, and waited a few moments before speaking. "Do you know if that pirate man is still in town?"

"Hook? How do you know Hook?"

"He shot one of my favorite clients; she had thick, lovely hair. It was a work to help it recover from years in that basement, but it was worth it."

"He's … out of town," Emma said hesitantly.

"Allegedly."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. And how is Henry?"

"You have a lot of questions."

"Well fine; you ask questions…"

Emma gave her a calculated look. "Henry is fine."

"Good. I hope he took my advice about Grace."

"Grace?"

"Jefferson's girl. She's such a darling, and she has lovely natural coloring…"

"What advice did you give Henry?" Emma said, perplexed.

"Last appointment, he may have mentioned a little crush on the girl," Harmony gave a dimpled grin. "So cute. I told him that he should stop avoiding her, for one, and that girls notice the little things. Like flowers."

"Flowers?" Emma suddenly remembered Henry sneaking a handful of uprooted flowers into the house not too long ago; he hid them in a coffee can under his bed.

"Can't go wrong with flowers; the life of them seems to speak for itself," Harmony continued pleasantly. She considered just snipping off a few inches without Emma's consent for a moment, but decided it best not to. "I'm glad he listened to my advice; Archie won't."

"You cut Archie's hair," Emma said dubiously. The image of Archie's head danced infront of her mind's eye.

"Goodness no. He wondered in her with Ruby, they were talking, and he decided to stick around and keep talking with her during her appointment. I told him something different; not every remedy is fit for every ill," she removed the apron from Emma and brushed her shoulders for stray hairs. "Like you, for instance."

"What?"

"Mary Margret, I'm ready for you…"

**A/N: I will continue, if anyone is interested. The next chapter will consist of her knowledge of the town and how she uses it outside of the salon. I hope it was very obvious who Harmony is. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: People are actually interested in my story! Bless you all! I'm currently going through something…I won't bore you with details. Just know that updates may be infrequent, and let me know if the writing is substandard. I do not want to disappoint you.**

_**Disclaimer: If I owned OUaT, Tom Hiddleston would have come to Storybrooke and swept Emma off her feet. And every other commercial would be for UNICEF. So thank God in your prayers that I don't own OUaT**_**.**

Ruby watched Emma stare suspiciously from the counter at Harmony, who was enjoying her breakfast of tea (rosehips and hibiscus) and bagels (plain, with a thick layer of strawberry jam and cream cheese). Across from her sat Rumplestiltskin, who was speaking to her in a low voice, looking annoyed that her bagel had more of her attention than he.

"You ok, Emma?" Ruby asked, giving her the coffee she ordered. "You're going to stare holes into their heads."

"There's something weird about her," Emma said. Ruby rolled her eyes. "Everyone in this town is weird."

"You know what I mean."

"Harmony is not weird. She's very nice and has not committed any crimes," she said the last point with her eyes squinted accusingly. Emma ignored the comment.

"You're bored. I get it. This town is quiet for the first time since…well, since you arrived. But you have to trust me on this, arresting people out of boredom is not a good idea," Ruby walked off to give Gepetto and Pinocchio their pancakes.

_Whatever_, Emma thought like a grumpy teenager.

"I think you and I both know what you need to do," Harmony said, sipping her tea. Rumplestiltskin looked to be at his wits end. "And what, pray tell is that," he asked with barely masked venom.

Harmony took a carefully calculated bit out of her bagel to ensure she got equal parts jam and cheese. After she swallowed, she looked at him. "Be a better man."

He gave her blank stare. Harmony sighed; really, she should have just stayed home and had cereal for breakfast.

"She's not going to fall in love with you like you are now. You have to be the person she saw you could be, or else she will walk away and find someone else," Harmony said bluntly. "If she doesn't love you, the whole True Love's Kiss won't work." Harmony shook her head him. "That poor dear; she loves-loved- you so much. You were half of what she talked about all the time."

"Half?"

Harmony gave him a sardonic glance. "You weren't her whole world. She did have this thing called a life, and she was thoroughly enjoying until that mustachioed pirate shot her to get back at you. You owe her everything, Rumple. Start acting like it."

Harmony pulled a $20 bill out of her wallet and put it on the table, wrapping her bagel in a napkin and rising to leave.

"And another thing," she said to him. "You're son's fiancé? Watch her."

"Why?"

"Something's off about her. She came in to get her hair done, only to leave when she found out there was no magic involved. People that hungry for magic usually end up killing for it," she gave him a knowing look before saying goodbye to Ruby and leaving.

Rumple scoffed, but her warning about that (what was her name, dang it…) Tamera woman rang in his heard. She was a bit too curious about his shop…and his house…and his powers…

The best part of being one's own boss is one can decide when one should have a day off. Given that there were no appointments today, Harmony decided it was the day to have a day off, and take care of other business.

The hospital, as gloomy as it could be, was calmly quiet this morning. Luckily for Harmony, her target was walking through the foyer when she came in.

"Dr. Whale! , wait! I need to talk to you!" she ran up to him , her hair trailing behind her (and accidently tripping a man with a cane—but he's fine. A nurse helped him).

"Miss Cheveux," Whale greeted her, "I'm sorry, but I was just about to visit a patient…"

"This will only take a moment—"

He began to walk away from her. "Maybe we can talk over lunc—"

"Viktor!" Harmony hissed, and he stopped in his tracks, slowly turning around. He walked back to her with an undecipherable expression. "Five minutes," he allotted.

"I need you to release Belle to either me or Mr. Gold, immediately."

"I can't do that, Harmony, she needs to stay here."

"Staying here will drive her crazy!"

"And being out there won't? She doesn't, _can't_, believe in magic and if you haven't noticed, it's everywhere."

"Haven't noticed?" Harmony hissed, grabbing and lifting a mass of her hair. "It grows and grows and grows and cutting only works for a little while because it grows again! Don't tell me about magic, I know it's here. I'm simply asking you to do what's best for Belle."

"This is best for her," Whale began to walk away.

"I'll tell Ruby!" She threatened. "I'll tell her you're keeping Belle here for you horrible purposes."

"She wouldn't believe you."

"With your track record? Face it Whale, she's the only true friend you have, and losing her would kill you," Harmony knew she was walking a very thin line. Whale stood there silently for a long moment. "I will see what I can do. But she has to consent; it would be best if she knew you."

Harmony smiled. "Thank you, Doctor."

"Hm," he said giving her a wry look. "It helps to threaten me."

Standing in a corner, thinking himself a thousand times sneakier than he really was, stood Storybrook's first and only tourist, Greg. He was listening intently and pretended to be shuffling through his phone as Harmony can and sat in the waiting area next to him. She piled her hair in her lap and picked leaves and other debris from the ends.

"Your father is not on this level of the hospital, and I suggest you look downward," she said without looking at him. He looked up at her sharply. "What? How'd you—I—"

It had taken her time, but when she had been in Granny's the morning he had shown up with his father. She had seen Regina's surprise, though it did not register immediately. And she had heard Snow's thoughts on his appearance, as well as Ruby's and Regina had let slip that he had been here a long time ago.

But she wouldn't tell him that. She simply gave his a bored look. "I don't want you here. No one does, least of all Regina. And Regina always gets what she wants."

"Not always," he responded in memory. Yes, he had gotten away.

"Not always. But when the public opinion agrees, she does," she rose. "Try the basement."

**A/N: Have you ever created a character, wanted the person to go one way, and they went another? That's what happened with Harmony; I wanted to make her very sweet and kind and perfect, but then she had to twist Whale's arm a bit and manipulate information. No one's perfect; I suppose that makes her more real. Your opinions are very important to me; R&R. Tell me if you hate this! I NEED TO KNOW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ok, so here's what happen with this story; we came off the evil hiatus and now my brain wants to match canon but this story CAN'T. Last chapter, y'all; in which I pretty much make a prediction-fic for the finale. After this, I'm moving on to other stories. Writing fanfic should be a job; it's hard. Really hard. Like six figure salary hard…**

**By the way, the line thingy is awesome. I just found it; I love it. Alright, I'll shut up.**

**Disclaimer: Did you see last night's episode? I am in no way responsible for that.**

Harmony was in her shop, awaiting her only customer for the day, when the first quake happened. Funny enough, she more angry about her hairspray cans on the floor than she was concerned about the quake. Then the second one happened and the third; suddenly, she began to wonder what the heck was going on. This was Maine, not California; there shouldn't be quakes of any sort. A bad fishing season, but…

Deciding that the shop probably wasn't the safest place to be (the ceiling lamps were coming down any second), she grabbed her jacket and bag, running not the streets. It was chaos. Everyone who had working legs was running through the streets, screaming their heads off like freaking banshees. It was too much for Harmony; she decided against driving her car and began a surefooted stride to Granny's.

* * *

As expected, the royals were gathered, discussing what should be done. Well, the royals, the wolves, the giant, the dwarves, the fairies, and Rumple with Belle-turned-Lacey-who-couldn't-stop-by-to-get-a-t rim-or-deep-conditioning. Harmony wasn't bitter; she just wanted Belle back.

"Well, look, I'm late to the party," Harmony said, sitting on the edge of a table, " Anyone want to tell me why the town is shaking like nervous Chihuahua?"

"You don't know?" Emma asked, a sarcastic eyebrow raised. Harmony frowned. "Well, with my regular clients not showing to spill their guts anymore, I've been a bit out of the loop." She looked over the group. "But where is the petit prince? Henry's usually apart of these meetings."

"He was taken as leverage by Tamara and Greg Mendel. They are the reason the town is currently shaking; they activated Regina's trigger t-"

"To destroy us all, I know," Harmony began to pace.

"You knew?" David asked.

"And you didn't bother to tell anyone?!" Leroy exclaimed, only to have Nova put a hand on his arm to calm him.

"She told me about it awhile ago when Emma broke the curse. She didn't seem like she was going to use it, so I let it go; didn't want to encourage the thought," Harmony was still pacing. "The beans! Everyone can-"

"They're gone. Tamara has them," Emma negated.

"Well there is more than one way to make a portal!" Harmony said, looking expectantly at Rumplestiltskin, like everyone else did. He looked supremely perturbed. "If I could make a portal to leave here, dearie, do you think I'd be standing in this diner with the lot of you?"

"Think of something," she said dismissively. "Where's Regina?"

"Trying to slow down the trigger," Snow said, and immediately a massive quake happened to knock them to the floor. Once everyone recovered, Harmony continued. "Hook came here on his ship. Is it possible we could use that?"

"Not everyone in the town would fit on his ship," Granny said reasonably.

"Well then, they need to just leave town," Harmony said, extremely stressed. And of course, with stress she became more emotional. More emotional, and her hair got longer.

"I swear her hair just grew a couple centimeters," Lacey whispered to Rumple, who affirmed it.

"They can't leave town; they'll forget themselves!" Mother Superior protested.

"Better forgotten than dead!" Harmony said. "Either they leave or die; given them that choice. For those of us who can bargain our way onto a pirate ship, I suggest we do so."

"So all of Storybrooke is going to just disappear? The people will forget who they really are and you don't care?" Snow asked.

"Of course I care! But hon, we are so past being able to choose! The town will fall apart around our ears any moment."

* * *

Hook had named which people he would allow on his ship and which had to find somewhere else. It was obvious who wouldn't be allowed along.

"The crocodile stays," he said, watching a building crumble in the distance, "and his little pet too."

"Pet?" Lacey spat with enough venom to kill an elephant.

"They can't come aboard," Hook continued to tell Emma as if Lacey hadn't spoken. "That is my only condition, and you and the rest can happily trot onboard. Even the girl with too much hair."

Harmony had been raised in a tower, but she had too much decorum to show him how much she did not appreciate the comment.

"It's not like you can stop us," Lacey said very confidently, and then looked at Rumple. He flicked his wrist and with a pouf of purple smoke, the two of them appeared on the deck of the ship. "You might as well give up now and save us all the trouble."

Hook was about to charge after them, when Harmony grabbed his arm. "Just think of all the ways you can kill him once he's on your boat. A good push may good enough," she suggested. Hook consented after a moment's thought and Emma gave her a grateful look.

Once everyone was aboard, Harmony gave a final glance to her salon. Or at least, the tip of the roof of her salon.

"Bye Storybrooke," she whispered. "I'm going to miss you…"

"Next stop," Hook announced grandly, taking the wheel, "Neverland."

**A/N: Thank you all so much for reading, and I am sorry I ran out of steam. My muse ran away screaming. I will be writing other little things for ONCE, mostly oneshots if you're interested. Again, thank you! Bye!**


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